Closing the Door with Gratitude

2018 was rough for me.

I was unemployed the whole time, begging and borrowing to stay under a roof. It was necessary, but it filled me with shame and embarrassment.

I had a series of near-misses with job seeking, finishing second repeatedly. In one case, it seemed I was the top candidate, and then the employer decided against filling the position at all.

In July, I was sitting at a stop light when a reckless driver veered around the corner and totaled my car. Two weeks later, I fell, broke and dislocated my left arm. It required surgery—and pins and screws and a metal plate— to repair.

Unable to type, I couldn’t look for work again until September.

And I’m still looking. I have a couple of hot prospects right now, with an interview on the 16th of January, so cross your fingers for me.

But I’m still under a roof. People have been generous with gifts and loans. My arm was repaired, and I am typing again. I have friends and a lovely online community.

And despite all that has happened, I have managed my major depressive disorder over this year so that I have not been bedridden, have not been hospitalized, have not self-harmed. Hard as it has been sometimes, I have placed one foot before the other and kept moving.

So this is an expression of gratitude. 2018, awful as it was personally, politically and globally, gave me enough to survive. My community and friends came through and expressed their love for me.

Particularly, I would like to thank the Atheopaganism Patrons, who provide much-needed support and keep me working on resources, theory and events for our community.

Goodbye, 2018. I have to believe that 2019 will be better, even as it’s clear that it will be a crazy ride in the political sphere.

I thank you all for your part in helping me to ride out the past year. May we all prosper and thrive in the next.

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